It just won't work!!!

我试了又试！
我不想那么快放弃，可是我到最后还是放弃了。
我与你，有着天壤之别，根本不可能在一起。

我们俩来自于不同世界的人。
你的观念与我不同，待人处事也不一样。
我觉得，就算我百般的对你迁就，忍让都好，我们还是没办法在一起的。

原因非常的简单。
虽然我不介意，但我还是会吃醋。
我没办法控制你的自由，但你也没控制你所拥有的自由。
这造成了两败俱伤的后果。
你觉得为难，我觉得委屈，那又何必呢？

我从喜欢你那一刻开始，从没停止过希望与你在一起的那一天的来临。
但，现在的我，盼不到那一天的来临了。
I don't know how should I say this, but us... It just won't work!!!

我很高兴在这里认识到你。
也很庆幸自己曾经爱过你。
不过，10/12/09 当我从batu回来之后，我们之间就只剩下友情了。
纯纯的友情，再普通不过的友情罢了。

我们的约定，取消吧！

那晚，我对你许下了承诺。
我们的约定，就在我们俩的手指纠缠下成立了。
但我，现在想告诉你，我们的约定，取消吧！

你的吻，是我朝思暮想的梦。
我们的约定，让我的梦实现了一半。
我感到无比的愉悦，就像我已经实现了已久的愿望。
但我，现在已不想这个愿望被实现。

对你许下的承诺，我会办到。
我不会让你的父母失望的。
我知道，他们对你的期望高，你也不想让他们失望。
答应了你，我就会设法日阿昂你过关。
但是，至于我们之间的约定，就算了吧。

我很怕，好怕，我无法实现我们的约定。
我害怕，当我吻你的时候，心已经死了。
我曾经认为我可以，可以睁一只眼闭一只眼。
最终，我还是失败了。

人类的嫉妒心，是个无比强大的力量。
我还是吃醋了。
我嫉妒，嫉妒你与他的暧昧。
我恨，恨你的随和，恨你的热情，恨你的暧昧眼神。

原本的我以为，忍一时风平浪静，退一步海阔天空。
但我错了。
无谓的执着，带来的，只有无比的伤痛！
所以，我们的约定，取消吧！

Your return

I was so happy the night before your return.
Though I was astonished by your call during the midnight, I still felt happy because you were telling me that you were coming back.
That night I slept with smile and sweetness.

Your return woke up me up as your contact ringtone came into live.
I picked up the phone and there you were.
Your voice was so energetic and eaagerly to enjoy the day.
I was expecting a great day being together with you.
That was what I wishing for at first.

I thought this would be our two person moment.
Yet, once again, I was wrong.
So, off we went to 1-U.
I couldn't hold myself together and be happy that day.
I didn't want to be there somehow.
I just felt like I'm the odd one there.
But, I knew that you'ld be upset if I would just say that I want to go back.
Therefore, I stayed.

Whenever I saw you, I just wanted to hold your hands.
Whenevr I saw you, I just wanted to kiss your lips.
Whenever I saw you, I just wanted to say "I love you".
But no matter whenever or however, I wouldn't have the chance to do all these.

是时候了吧

想了想
总觉得我再坚持下去
也一无是处

我与你
应该还是比较适合做朋友吧

我的想法
是对还是错呢
我不知道
我只知道
每当看见你与他的时候
心里总还是会有一股不舒服的感觉

也许你的世界
真的和我的不同吧
我们俩都来自不同的世界
成长观念也各有主见
共同点
有吗

是时候了吧
也许
友情就是我们俩的选择

Again?

What is wrong with me?
I thought I had forgotten you.
But why?
Only one call, one telephone call,
and once again, I fell into your love trap.
I think I"m falling in love with you again.
I don't know whether this is a good or bad thing.

I really do miss you a lot.
Now I'm sitting in my room.
Looking at your bed which you used to sleep on it.
Looking at the blanket you used to cover yourself.
I still can feel your breath in the room.
Only now that I realised I didn't even forget about you.

I miss your smile and your laugh.
Although I always grumbled to you that I'm sleepy and want you to go to bed with me,
I really did enjoy those days with you.
You made my life no longer lonely. I don't have to sleep alone.
But now, you've gone.
Once again, I've gone back to the time I've to sleep alone.

I really miss you.
How I wish I could tell you how much do I miss you.
I still remember the last day you were in the hostel.
That night, I tried my best not to drop my tears in front of you.
I looked at you hugging the others.
How I wish that I could hug you at that time.
But, I didn't. Because I scared I can't hold any longer and drop all my tears in front of you.
I know you were looking at me when you returned to give back the paper but I refused to turn back.
I don't want to let you saw me streaming tears across my cheeks.
I don't want you to feel sad leaving the hostel.

Today, you've called me.
I'm really really happy.
But, when you mentioned about "her", I felt jealous.
Why must you mentioned about "her" when you're talking to me?
I know you like "her". But I was hoping that you could give both of us moment together.
Although I know that you're just treating me as your brother, I don't care.
I like you and I always do.

Anyway, I really looking forward for next sunday.
I really wish that this time you really do come back.
I can't wait to go and watch movie with you.
I love to go out with you as I could imagine myself dating with you though I know that will never happen in reality.

Good night, my loved one.

1 week after He had left

Today is the day where he had left me for 1 week.
I'm sohappy that he called me today.
We chat for 1 hour. He told me everything about he lived and worked there.
He did tell me that he felt lonely there.
several times, he even had a memory flashback where he was in the hostel and having supper and fooling around with all of us.
I've tried to forget him as a person that I ever liked before.
But, this call had pulled me back.
Once again, I fell back into the dilemma.
And I realised that I still liked him although I pretend I had forgotten him.

Anyway, I will always pray for him to be happy and not to be so lonely.
If I could ever let him know, I'll tell him that I'll always by his side.
I love you~

fUcKinG aNgRy

Why you treat me like this?
I hate you!
I really hate you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel so fucking sick of you!!!!!!!!

Damn IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

I HATE YOU !!!

Why did you do this to me?
I feel terribly hurt by you.
My eyes still feel the pain from the long crying last night.
I hate you.
You should just tell me when you don't like the way I treat you.
I will never treat a person till such a way if I didn't have the feel of love towards him.
Do you think a normal friend will wait for you until 2-3am jz for you to finish your work?
I could just have gone up and sleep!
But I didn't. I wait for you to finish whatever you'ld to finish.
This is not what a friend would do.
I think my actions are very clear message to you that I like you.
But why you pretend in such a way that you can't feel it?
My heart once again being crashed. An dits you who opened the wound from the last pain.
I don't know why.
Maybe I'm just not suitable for having love.
I think LOVE doesn't belong to me.
No matter who he is.
From the beginning till now, I never had feel love.
None!!! Nothing!!!
What I get whenever I tried to give out hy heart is only hurt!!!
Wounds!! Pains!!! Hurt!!!! And tonnes of HURT!!!!!!

I hate you!!!
Just a few days more... you'll be leaving!!!
Why you did this to me?
Can't you leave for me some happy memories?
Why must you hurt my heart?
I hate you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1