I'm sorry

Honey, I'm sorry.
I'm very sorry.
Tonight I'ld like to break my word, just for tonight.
I really can't stop myself from thinking of all the memories.
The pain had started to expand in me.
The sweet memories of me and him just keep on flow out.
I tried to control myself but I failed.
My tears started to fall again.
I've promise myself that my tears will never ever drop for him again.
I really can't stop all these things from happening.

However, I want you to know.
Honey, I really love you.
I'm doing my best to change myself.
Please have faith in me.
Please lead me out of this darkness.
I'm afraid of these impenetrable darkness.
I need you.
Please don't give up on me.
I'm sorry. He did bring up all my memories in the past.
I'm afraid, I really afraid, I afraid that I might .........
I might ......... grow some feel toward him.
I keep on saying to myself not to think of this.
But the more I refuse the more I think about this.
What should I do? I really scare.
I really scare of going back to the past.
Honey, please help me.
Please ... ... ... ... ... ...