Puzzle

I feel like been given a big puzzle.
I think I should describe it as a maze.
I don't now which step to make or choose.
I just feel like I have to do this decision but I don't know how.
Somebody told me before,
"By not making a decision is making a decision."
I agreed with what she said.
Sometimes, I just feel like want to get away from this life.
I want to go to a place where there is no sorrow and frustration.

I had been searching the answer for quite a long time.
Why am I become the one I am today?
Why my life is like this?
Not that I am not satisfied with my current life, its just that I feel so wrong with my current life.

Its been a year I've never felt this feeling.
I didn't realise it until the last two days.
At first, I felt so familiar with this awkward feeling but I still don't get it.
Now, I understand. But, I'm afraid its too late.

I don't know why I will encounter this feel again.
Maybe this is a test for me.
A test to see whether I am able to back as a normal one again.
Well, frankly speaking, I am very afraid that I will fail this test.
It seems that I am growing that feeling very drastically.
I feel so empty. I feel so .. .. .. .. ..
None of the words can express my feeling.

This puzzle will take me quite some time to decode.